Is it a lack of Confidence or are you actually being Challenged?

Confidence or Challenge?

Have you ever been waiting for a job interview only to find yourself with sweaty palms, a dry throat, and a red face? Or perhaps you’ve been asked to speak in front of a group and immediately declined, convinced there was no way you could do it for fear of turning to jelly in front of everyone through overwhelm and fear of freezing.

In moments like these, it’s easy to label ourselves as “not confident” and assume this is simply who we are, but often, what we’re experiencing isn’t a lack of confidence at all — it’s a natural response to a challenge.

Confidence doesn’t magically appear within us, it’s something that grows over time, shaped by experience, exposure, and learning how to sit with discomfort. There is absolutely no shame in acknowledging that confidence can feel stronger in some areas of life than others, or that it wobbles when we’re faced with something new.

It can help to pause and consider what we mean by “confident.”

We often imagine someone who is loud, assertive, and at the centre of attention. In reality, confidence takes many forms, it can be quiet, steady, and grounded — seen in the person who moves calmly through a room, stands comfortably in their own space, and speaks freely without needing to dominate.

Sometimes we notice confidence in another person’s presence and assume they have something we don’t. Yet confident people still experience doubt and anxiety, they still encounter situations they haven’t faced before, including interviews, new roles, or unfamiliar environments. The difference is not the absence of discomfort, the 'confident person' has willingness to move through it, by repeatedly facing new challenges, trying unfamiliar things, and not giving up when it feels uncomfortable, they slowly build confidence through experience and repetition.

Science supports this too. Facing and overcoming challenges strengthens neural pathways in the brain, reinforcing “success patterns” and encouraging a growth mindset. Each small win builds evidence that you can cope, adapt, and learn — turning effort and persistence into genuine, lasting self-belief, which is why it is important for us to celebrate and acknowledge our small life wins.

I’ve experienced this personally. In my role as a business owner, I feel confident, grounded, and able to make decisions quickly, (most of the time anyway!), but when I went back to college at the age of 52 to learn a completely new skill, that confidence disappeared almost overnight. I felt anxious, uncertain, and very nearly quit. Yet by continuing to show up and repeatedly facing the discomfort, those feelings slowly eased, and confidence returned in a new form and I loved every minute of my learning.

Think back to the first few weeks of a new job. Those early weeks are often uncomfortable — you’re not relaxed, you don’t know where anything is, and you wonder why you ever applied. Then, a few weeks later, you find yourself showing the next new starter around, answering their questions, and realising just how far you’ve come.

So before you place yourself in the “No Confidence” category, pause, take a breath and ask yourself why you feel this way.

More often than not, the answer is simple: this feels uncomfortable because it’s new, and if you keep showing up for yourself, you will come out the other side with more experience, greater self-awareness, and a deeper, steadier confidence.

Experience some you time in our Glow & Grow Workshops!

A Gentle Invitation

Over the coming weeks, we’ll be sharing supportive and practical tips across our social media to help you better understand confidence, self-esteem, and how this can grow over time.

You can join us online on facebook or Instagram

If you’re able to, you’re also warmly invited to join us in person at our February Women’s Gathering, where Sonya will be sharing her real-life experience of rebuilding confidence through change and challenge. She’ll also introduce how journaling can be used as a simple, effective self-development tool to support reflection, self-awareness, and personal growth.

Whether you follow along online or join us in person, you’ll be very welcome.

Sonya xx