Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work – and What to Try Instead

Every January, we are encouraged to press reset. You know the drill - New year, new goals. New habits.  A whole new you.

For some people, New Year’s resolutions feel motivating and energising. But for many others, they quickly become a source of pressure, disappointment, or quiet self-criticism. Gym memberships go unused. Journals sit unopened. Lists of intentions turn into reminders of what we haven’t done.

If that sounds familiar, you are not failing – maybe the system just isn’t working for you.

The problem with resolutions

Traditional resolutions tend to focus on changing who we are, rather than supporting who we already are.

They are often:

·       Too rigid

·       Based on unrealistic expectations

·       Rooted in comparison or guilt

·       Focused on outcomes rather than process

Phrases like “I must be more disciplined”, “I should do better”, or “This year I’ll finally fix myself” can carry an underlying message that who you are right now is not enough.

Over time, this mindset can actually distance us from growth rather than encourage it.

You are not a project to be fixed

At Glow & Grow, we believe this deeply: you are not broken, behind, or failing.

You are a whole person shaped by experiences, seasons, responsibilities, and emotions. Expecting yourself to suddenly become someone entirely different because the calendar has changed is rarely fair and is certainly not sustainable.

Growth does not require rejection of who you are.

It requires understanding, compassion, and intention.

A gentler alternative: becoming a better version of you

Instead of writing a long list of resolutions that feel restrictive and potentially unachievable, consider a different question:

“How do I want to feel, live, or show up - more often?”

This approach shifts the focus from perfection to progress.

It allows space for:

·       Small, meaningful changes

·       Flexibility when life gets busy

·       Self-acceptance alongside self-improvement

Becoming a better version of yourself does not mean doing more. Often, it means doing less of what drains you and a little more of what supports you.

Personal growth does not always look dramatic.

It might look like:

·       Saying no without over-explaining

·       Resting before you are exhausted

·       Speaking to yourself with more kindness

·       Letting go of expectations that no longer fit

·       Acknowledging progress instead of minimising it

·       Journalling to plan and note your progress (great to then look back on too)

These shifts rarely make it onto a traditional resolutions list, yet they are often the changes that matter most.

Progress over pressure

When growth is driven by pressure, it rarely lasts but when it is driven by curiosity and self-awareness, it becomes sustainable.

Ask yourself:

·       What do I need to support me at this moment in my life?

·       What feels realistic?

·       What small step can I take that would help me find the right path?

Remember - there is no deadline for achieving growth.

A different way to start the year

If New Year’s resolutions have never worked for you, you are allowed to opt out.  I certainly am!

You can choose reflection over restriction. You can choose intention over expectation. You can choose to accept yourself as you are, while still allowing space to grow.

If this resonates with you, our workshops offer space to reflect, reset, and reconnect with yourself – without pressure or perfection. You are warmly invited to join us at a future session – our January one in particular is all around reflection and goal setting - or sign up to our mailing list to stay connected and hear about what’s coming next.